When They Leave -

When They Leave

Scripture Reference John 6:66-67

From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.

Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?

If you have been in the ministry for five minutes, one thing becomes abundantly clear. People who come along side your ministry, become a part of the fabric of your church or fellowship leave.

It happened to Jesus. So it will happen to us. This is ministry 101. Pastor Marc and I teach a course to new licensees in which we include the section called "The Great Goodbye". It begins with the principle that some people come for a reason, some people come for a season and some people come to stay. The important part to remember is that we treat all as if they had come to stay but we understand going into the relationship that some wonderful people come into our lives for a specific purpose (reason) and some come for a season ( a set time ).

Now "The Great Goodbye" happens in lots of ways mostly based on a person's spiritual maturity in the departure. For some to feel that they can only leave with honor they must make the spiritual authority such as the Pastor wrong. So a situation must be created where the one leaving has been wronged as in "offense" Or he has noticed a "wrong " theology or teaching. Or some amorphous wrong has appeared between the one leaving and those associated with the Pastor which makes the Pastor wrong by association. "The Great Goodbye" is a dance that starts out slowly. But increases in intensity quickly because once the perimeter has been breached the flood of emotions rush through gates and escalates the situation to a crisis. Please remember that "The Great Goodbye" dance began as a solo long before it comes to the attention of the Pastor. The dance is so powerful for some that they are not happy dancing alone they create a chorus line of others- so the dance out the door becomes a group experience thereby solidifing the rightness of the ones leaving and the wrongness of those left behind.

When folks leave your fellowship remember that they may have been there for a purpose. When the purpose is fullfilled they are ready to move on. When others leave they may have been there for a season and when that season comes to an end, they may be totally integrated into your ministry possibly even in leadership positions because remember we treat everyone that like they have come to stay. Recently a sweet and wonderful Pastor friend of mine was having such a difficult time with this concept. I presented her with a memory box and a bag of multi-colored stones. I asked her to put aside the trauma of the separations and sort the stones as into piles of those who were with them for a reason, those for a season and those who came to stay. The visual power of such an act is life changing.

Jesus experienced this leaving process. And He asked His disciples, if they were going to leave Him too. This is a powerful process. Give the ones with you a chance to make open honest decisions with dialogue. Ask them what is in their hearts because they are the ones who know. Jesus knew everyone's heart and He knew the disciples. In verse 71 of this chapter Jesus speaks of Judas Iscariot who would betray Him. He knew when that Goodbye was coming.

Pastors, and friends, when this happens, do not let it become personal in your life. Do not let it tear at your heart. With every new friend, every new member to your congregation, every new healing, and relationship, remember... God knows the end from the beginning. Love them like your forever family as they will be with you in heaven. Because "The Great Goodbye" is a skill to be learned as your ministry advances. Don't let it be a roadblock to you. This is Pastor Susan living the Everyday Prophetic Life.